In actuality, I should probably throw some quotation marks around the words “mustache” and “goatee” because together with the two patches of facial scruff cumulatively feature 13 hairs, give or take.

Look, I get it — not every dude is blessed with an inherent ability to grow a full, Jason Momoa-esque beard. But you’d think that once a guy without said ability realizes they haven’t been endowed with abundantly active upper lip hair follicles, they’d call it a day, get rid of it, and go on their merry, cleanly shaven way. Alas, Timmy is holding tight to his ‘stache and goatee, which first publicly showed signs of life back in mid-December 2019.

Much like when Timothée debuted a divisive bowl cut back in 2018, his mustache reveal has garnered pretty mixed reactions from fans. Although I’m staunchly remaining on Team Plz Shave It ASAP, others are proudly on Team Wait, It’s Actually Kinda Sexy Though.


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